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Friday, 10 February 2017

We Got Round to Watching: Zoo

*Spoilers** Zoo, the interestingly named Nexflix series based on a book that although I haven't read, is very likely to be better than the programme itself to say the very least.

The basics of this show involve animals across the entire globe deciding they no longer favour human existence. A shady individual puts together a team to get to the bottom of this phenomenon that includes two safari tour guides, an unconventionally cute journalist, a quirky scientist and a French intelligence agent who specialises in HUMAN behaviour....? 

Problems with Zoo... I'm not sure where to start really. It all begins when the super team finds out a global corporation has developed what is called the "Mother Cell." This is supposedly pumped in all of their products from dog food to pesticides to wildly improve them, making them the number 1 provider of all your daily needs.  

The issue I take with this mother cell is that it either was not explained at all or I was too bored to pay attention when it was. This cell affects all of these animals and only one human. It does not explain why or how, only that all of a sudden this human is now the alpha of a wolf pack. I sense that maybe it was forgotten that humans are actually a member of the animal kingdom.

So basically, this mother cell makes animals evolve at a much faster rate than they would usually. Examples of these are as follows:

Bats can fly higher and are attracted to electrical appliances, and can somehow survive subzero temperatures without hibernating.

Lions now communicate over long distances by roaring.... I'm pretty sure this was already a thing.

Dogs now hang out in packs to hone their hunting skills... again, I'm pretty sure this was already a thing but I suppose not in domestic dogs.

Birds now all tweet in one language so they form a feathery anti-human war band together. 

Bears have thicker skin like metal armour.

And rats are, well they are now furry ants.......

Animals have now figured out that humans should be eradicated as they are useless. While I am inclined to agree, some animals such as many species of birds, actively benefit from the wasteful existence of humans. Why would they want to go back to foraging for scraps and spending every winter cold and hungry (yes I do realise that many birds migrate)?



So animals are no longer killing each other and it is stated as fact that the animals are only culling humans, not using them for food. I would be very intrigued to find out what the lank malnourished Lion is thinking when standing next to the plump well fed Zebra.

I suppose I had better talk about the characters for a moment. Usually American shows such as this provide us with a full cast of unrealistically and ridiculously attractive people. In most cases this distracts you from how terrible a programme is. I can tell you that this is not the case with this (excluding the French intelligence agent, Nora Arnezeder who plays  Chloe Tousignant).

I understand character building and that some may have had dark pasts as is the norm with any TV show, movie or book. However, the way Zoo links the stories the characters tell is awful. Chloe says I fancy a Marmite sandwich, then Abe goes of into a story about when he was a young boy in Africa he got his two little brothers killed on purpose by a crazy gang lord.

I feel as if I have gone into more of a rant than a review so its time to conclude. In this show everything good that happens is too convenient to be interesting. The characters were poorly put together. If you want to watch something that will leave you feeling like you do after a night out (confused, grumpy and feeling as if you may have just lost 12 hours of your life that you will never get back) Zoo is the show for you.

FIN

0.5 out of 5 slices



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